Let me start by saying I really was not sure if I was going to write about this or not. But with being a mom, wife and blogger I felt like this was just something that I needed to do. On August 22 I started a full time job. I never intended to work full time. I wanted to have more adult interaction and not be home 24/7. With my son being 14 and starting high school I felt it was time. When I had applied the ad had said part time. This being said I went to the interview and was offered the job. The stipulation was that it was full time, part time was not available. We needed the extra income to help pay our day to day bills. My first day was my sons first day of high school.
The shift was 7 pm to 3:30 am which for school and summer was going to work out great. Ask anyone who knows me I am a night owl. I could be here after school, for supper, homework etc. fast forward to summer I could sleep and then wake up to do stuff during the day. At first I loved it. I met so many nice people that were my friends and still are. Then I realized that I was being singled out and some of my coworkers continued to give me a very hard time. I am usually a very happy person. This soon changed. The 40 hours a week grew and we had mandatory overtime. I stopped seeing my family and friends. If I was not at work I was sleeping and when I was up I was tired this more times than not also gave me a headache. I prayed things would get better they did not.
I was told at the start they would try to work with me and give me Tuesdays off so I could be at scouts with my son. This never was brought up again. I had a strange schedule I would work 6 days in a row and one off. Then the next week 3 off. So one week I had off Friday and the following week Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. It made it hard to plan things and usually it seemed like the activities were on the days I was working.
My daughter moved out last May and it had been a very hard time for me. When she was little I had been a single mom, so it was she and I against the world. I am so proud of her she only lives 5 minutes from here and landed a very well paying full time job that is also 5 minutes away. It is just another adjustment in life. The reason I bring this up is a few months back at my sons youth group they had showed a video of how short life and time is. To live and enjoy each moment. Do you know that you only have a estimated 946 weeks from the time your child is born to the time they leave your home? This hit me hard. I was missing so much with my son and others.
Less than 2 weeks ago a close friend from our home church that my daughter attended youth group and mission trips with went missing. I had got a text when I was at work from my daughter in a panic. We all prayed that it was a misunderstanding and that she would be found. Hours later I saw on the news she had been senselessly murdered. This struck me to my core. Reagan Tokes was an amazing person, her smile lit up the whole room. Our family along with our church family and her family has mourned over the last week with a vigil, memorial and burial. This is one of the hardest things that ever has happened in my life. My thoughts and prayers continue for Lisa, Toby and Makenzie. I have tried to remember the good times like when the girls went on a scavenger hunt and one of the things on the list was to walk up to the McDonalds drive thru and order. What was supposed to be a simple task ended because the employees refused to open the window for them. It was really funny and we all laughed for what seemed like forever. I will treasure these moments.
Work allowed me to switch my day off so I could be at the services. What really upset me was the day of the funeral I was called and texted seeing if I could come in. This made me see that they did not care at all. When I questioned this I had been told they forgot. The next Sunday I picked up a local paper and saw that one of my lifelong friends was in the obituaries. Sadly he was 37 married with 5 children. I found out later he had a accident the year before and decided to take his own life. This was 2 senseless deaths in a week.
Time is so short. Too short to be miserable. Say what you want to say, do those things, make the call, be silly, have lunch with a family member or friend. I want to thank my family and friends for being there for me. That being said my husband John for supporting my decision to quit last night. It was hard for me to do. I felt like a failure but I needed to do what was right for me. For our family. Don’t want to continue to miss the important things. Family and friends are more important than money!
After I quit I went to spend a few hours with my daughter Jordyn. She is one of the best things in my life. Smart, kind and beautiful.
I now have 2 grand kitties. Goat (Salem) came first. Then recently Reina. She is 4 months old and weighs only 3 pounds. I needed the time to just be with them.
If you allow people to treat you badly they will continue to do so. So today I am excited to say I can be at my sons scout meeting next week. I am seeing one of my best friends over the weekend. I called my mom just to say Mr. Freeze opens today and I am taking the kids to get some ice cream! In a bit I am going to take my laptop to a coffee shop and go thru emails and spend some time with me. Publish my blog. I have always wanted to write and I am hoping to find more chances to do so. To those that can work full time and do it all kudos to you. Maybe in 4 years after Dave graduates it will be my time. I am 39 I still have time to figure it out. Thanks for letting me speak from my heart.
I welcome your comments. But I do ask that you keep anything negative to yourself. I wrote this to not only help myself but to inspire others.
On a more positive note-
My son Dave has been such a inspiration to me. He applies his all in everything he does. For years he has been on super honor roll. He is moving up the ranks in scouts he is now star. My little guy is not so little anymore. He towers over his sister and I . I know he will be able to reach his goal of becoming a eagle scout.
I had time to cuddle with my dog Bear today!